Vacation Responder: Recycled


mtrainierI’ll be honest. When I started this little monthly project, I totally underestimated how hard it would be to write a new vacation responder every day. I also underestimated how quickly the novelty would wear off (and I’m just talking about me, not my audience). But I’m committed to writing a post a day even if I have to play catch up now. Even if I have to recycle real live vacation responders from my own inbox. NaNoWriMo is coming up in a few days and if I can’t write 200 words a day, how am I gonna write a novel next month?

So here goes. The first of several recycled vacation responders. 


SUBJECT: Holed Up Under a Rock and Writing

Dearest Kind Friend Whose Email I Can’t Wait To Read Upon My Return,

I’m away writing a book. Or playing solitaire because my book has no narrative arc. Maybe eating chocolate which is more fun than writing narrative arcs. Quite possibly drinking out of flask somewhere until inspiration fits. Writing again because what else do you do when the chocolate and booze are gone?

But not reading email until October 31, 2015.

If this is an emergency, you know the drill: you can text my assistant, Sam Sung at [YOUR NUMBER].


* It’s probably better if you write your own witty closing instead of using mine, which, let’s face, has become pretty stale over the last five years.