Dear Janine of Oct 26, 2002, 7th innning:
Leave. Leave right now because you’ve got tickets to see Cullberg Ballet and Mats Ek’s choreography of Swan Lake. Dusty Baker has given Russ the ball. It looks like the Giants have wrapped it all up nicely.
They haven’t of course. Which you know because you stayed at Stef’s. Those fans at the end of the bar who have brought a stuffed monkey have now torn off its limbs and are tossing stuffing around the bar. On the telecast, an Anaheim fan is beating Shawon Dunston with those red blow-up bats as he scrambles for the ball. The Giants are losing and they’re going to lose tomorrow, too. It’s better to hear about it later than to go through the pain of watching them.
Do you know why? Because over the next 12 years the Giants will play 1,944 regular season games and at least another 60 play-off games, including winning the World Series three time. Whereas Cullberg Ballet won’t be back on this side of the Mississippi at all.
Besides–and please don’t take this the wrong way–you watch baseball like a girl. All those players you watch and love? They are all going to leave you. Rich Aurilia is going to play for the Reds. Dusty Baker will leave to coach the Cubs. Jeff Kent is going to the Dodgers. The DODGERS! Robb Nen? His next team is on Nintendo. By the time the Giants win in 2014 the only Giants you’ll know from the old days are Dave Righetti and Mike Murphy. And even then you’ll have to Google “sf ball park clubhouse guy” because you can’t remember Murph’s name. Oh, and Shawon Dunston.
So go to the ballet. And save your energy for the twins. They’re huge Giants fans. (Oh, yeah–seven years from now you’re going to have twins. With that guy next to you in the photo.)
Janine of Oct 31, 2014