VACATION RESPONDER: Subtle Gloat #1

Standard

Want to let people know that you don’t want to read their email and make them jealous at the same time? Try this subtle gloat with optional shit-rolls-downhill escape clause.

Hello. I will be away from the office from Oct 3 to Oct 31 and will be able to give my full attention to your email upon my return as wifi is spotty in our beachfront villa in Belize.

Thank you for your understanding.

If this matter cannot wait, please email my colleague [NAME OF PERSON UPON WHOM YOU WANT TO DUMP YOUR WORKLOAD] and she will be more than happy to help.

Aarait! (I think I just said “thank you” in Belizean Kriol!)