SUBJECT: OFF THE GRID AT MOM’S HOUSE
Thank you for your email. I am out of the office from October 8th to October 31st and unable to read, retrieve or otherwise attend to any correspondence until I return to the office on November 2nd. I have no wifi or 4G or anything because I am staying with my parents and they still live in the dark ages.
If this is an emergency, you could try to email me at my mom’s compuserve email, but honestly, but since they still have dial-up, which only seems to work between the hours of 2pm and 4:30pm (unless someone calls on the line), I think you’re better off just waiting until November.