Go ahead and say it loud and proud: “I’m self-important and I know big words.” Note: while this responder is intended to just let people know that they are low in the pecking order, it can be easier converted to your average vacation responder. Special thanks to Liz Kramer (not her real name) for this idea.
SUBJECT: Automatic reply for [REGURGITATED EMAIL SUBJECT]
I am out of the office today at client meetings. As time is of the essence, I will only be able to attend to material requests.
However, if you need immediate assistance, please contact my assistant Ida Nough and she will direct you to a consultant to assist you in my absence.
Alternately, if this matter is urgent, you can try to reach me on my mobile phone and I will return your call as soon as possible.
This electronic mail message and any attached files contain information intended for the exclusive use of the individual or entity to whom it is addressed and may contain information that is proprietary, privileged, confidential and/or exempt from disclosure under applicable law.
THE INFORMATION CONTAINED IN THIS ELECTRONIC MAIL TRANSMISSION IS CONFIDENTIAL AND MAY BE PROTECTED FROM UNAUTHORIZED USE OR DISSEMINATION. If you are not the intended recipient, you are hereby notified that any viewing, copying disclosure or distribution of this information is strictly prohibited and may be subject to legal restriction or sanction. Please notify the sender immediately by electronic mail of any unintended recipients and delete the original message without making any copies.