VACATION RESPONDER: LEGALESE

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Go ahead and say it loud and proud: “I’m self-important and I know big words.” Note: while this responder is intended to just let people know that they are low in the pecking order, it can be easier converted to your average vacation responder. Special thanks to Liz Kramer (not her real name) for this idea.

SUBJECT: Automatic reply for [REGURGITATED EMAIL SUBJECT]

I am out of the office today at client meetings. As time is of the essence, I will only be able to attend to material requests.

However, if you need immediate assistance, please contact my assistant Ida Nough and she will direct you to a consultant to assist you in my absence.

Alternately, if this matter is urgent, you can try to reach me on my mobile phone and I will return your call as soon as possible.

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